we have urine, people. we.have.urine.

i must start by saying i do not love when people post on fb or myspace or twitter about their childrens urinating habits and slash or abilities. but this is my blog, and if youre here, youre entering my world :] welcome. its messy and gross and liekly tmi at some points.

i find potty training to be a personal thing, and its often very emotional and difficult for children.

i know that its taken 3 different attempts to realize that my son is completely physically prepared, but not emotionally by any means.

he cries when he is asked to "sit on the potty" even though he can tell us before he has to go.

hes a smart little bug too. i asked if he had to go to the bathroom prior to bathtime. his response "nah, maybe after the baff mahmee."

after the bath i suggested it againa nd you could his heart visibly sink in his face as if to say "ah man, she remembered...crap."

he sat. and within seconds was going to the bathroom. and im talking more than a woman in her third trimester.

i always make a big deal about it to build his confidence and boost pride, and i gave him the obligatory chocolate milk reserved for going potty without too much fuss.

it was me that felt the emotional excitement.

i realized that no matter how i do at work, what kind of day i have, how may sales i make, or if i meet my goals or even exceed, that nothing outside of my home makes me feel as good as seeing my son pee on the toilet.

honestly i hope when he is 16 years old hogging the bathroom as much as his daddy does, that i can walk past the door and smile remembering the days of me sitting on the floor with flash cards and a smile, hair in a sloppy pony tail, playing dinosaurs and dora, the days of giving in and buying the purple and pink dora seat for my son, making potty games, unshowered and unkempt.

its times like this that it occurs to me this isnt a dream, and holy crap...im a mom.

awesome.

Febrile Seizures....

i recently submitted this story to an online parenting site, heres hoping for publication and awareness!

When my son was about 16 months old he came down with a pretty nasty virus. I had called the advice nurse who had asked the usual questions, suggested tylenol and told me as long as he was acting normal, he was likely just fighting off the bug. His fever was intermittent, and hovered around 102. Night three i called the doctor again and was told to report back in the morning and we could bring him in if he wasnt doing better. We went to bed, and i let him sleep in our room with me so we could keep an eye on him.
i awoke around 1030 to a crying Jude, and within 30 seconds of us being awake he began to shake, rhythmic movements on one side of his body. his eyes glazed over, in a fixed position and his little right arm and leg and head jerked softly. my poor baby was having a seizure. Id like to say i maintained composure, knowing that it was from his fever spiking, but i bawled like a baby screaming for someone to call 911.
it lasted the longest 45 seconds of my entire life, and after he stopped jerking his eyes rolled back into his head and he didnt move. it wasnt long before i noticed his lips starting to change color. i grabbed him, feelin his body limp in my arms. i rushed downstairs and ran to fridge, where i had posted an article from a magazine with first aid tips for young children. I lay him flat and breathed into his burning little body, one, two, three. It felt like forever until i heard his little moan. it was wonderful; just like the first time i heard him cry when he was born.
i rolled him on his side as the paramedics came. They gave me the run down of the event: the seizure was caused by a rapid spike in the fever; he likely had gone up a few degrees in just a few minutes. Febrile seizures arent a real threat if the fever is treated and its more common than most parents may know, and doesnt even require a trip to the emergency room in most cases, just a call to the pediatrician and a followup. Its actually pretty uncommon for them to stop breathing. He likely wouldnt have another; it's only a 20% chance that a child who has one will have another before age 5.
he was taken to the hospital to be observed and to get the fever down.
its been 14 months since that day and my son is a happy two and a half year old boy who hasnt had a problem since. we make sure we keep track of any virus or fever he gets, and let his doctor know. I try not to let my mind wander to what could have happened if i had put him in his nursery like i usually did, or if i hadnt taken those first aid tips from that article.
It also had me reevaluating my reaction in the case of an emergency. I took a first aid class which left me way more comfortable in an emergency than reading directions off of a piece of paper and i encourage every parent to do the same. American Red Cross offers classes, and if you get a group of people together you can even have a personal class and split the cost!
Read up on your first aid, educate yourself, find a pediatrician that you trust, and trust your motherly (and fatherly) instincts.
having situations like these may not be preventable, but you can be prepared. it's my hope though that you'll never need to use it.

Never Hire a Sexy Nanny?

I stumbled across this article written from a woman who was debating the trouble behind hiring a sexy nanny.

you can find the original article here: http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/never-hire-a-sexy-nanny/

to those coming here form there...herrroooo!

one thing youll notice is that i love giving my opinion, to those who CHOOSE to read it, not parade it in front of others to show them myh opinion is "right" or that theirs is "wrong". opinions are neither of those. so i will write a more in depth response here.

I had a nanny.

she was young, as we also are.

she was 20. attractive, and very petite. im talking size 2 i'd say.

i know my man, and i never had a suspicion of anything that could be shady.

we all became extremely close, and after a year it was hard to see her go. she loved our child like her own, and it was a great experience for all of us.

would i hire a nanny again? yes.

if the finances allowed for it, sure.

i wouldnt choose her based on her looks, but she would have to love being a childcare provider and someone that i could trust. ill tell you that a "suggestive" photo would make me pass along the resume thats for certain, but not out of fear of my SO's infidelity, moreso because i wouldnt want that sort of dressing to be around my child.

i dress modestly i would say, sometimes i wear dresses, and its not Duggar style (no hate, just love). but i dont wear plunging necklines, skin tight jeans (although to be honest, if i were petite i would likely rock a skinny jean, right now its kind of out of respect for the world :] ) and i dont wear anything that would invoke unsolicited and unwarranted sexy thoughts. thats just how i am. and it worked for SO, i have myself a lovely man thing that loves me for me. :]

anyhow. it doesnt matter to me sexy or not, and i can appreciate a good looking woman.

what does matter is my child, and my thoughts on my SO and the nanny arent very involved. i consider my child first, and then consider if its someone that we can all love.

your thoughts may be different, i'd love to hear them, but please, be kind :]

lets also hear from experiences of nannies! if you were one, how was it? any funny anecdotes?

if you had a nanny, how was it? how long did you have one? where did you find your nanny?

i pooped on the table.

the thought process came up again today about more children.

i want more. i came from a family of 8 children, between step siblings, foster siblings and biological siblings, i dont want to deny my son the opportunity to have that bodn with family. matter o fact, i used to want 16. yes i admired the duggars, loved their ways and imagined how awesome it would be.

until i birthed one.

thats kind of a lie for humors sake. it doesnt have much to do with the labor portion, because its true what they say, that you often forget the pain shortly after. thats the 6 week waiting period. by six weeks a woman has forgotten the pain fo healing and delivery and she is likely to actually agree to have sex willingly without much arm twisting.

and i LOVED being pregnant.

yes, towards the end when i piled on 35 lbs in water weight alone, and felt the never ending back pain in my tailbone. Yes, i swelled up so much my reps at work said my legs looked like elephant legs, which i suppose was their nice way of saying "nice cankles, may". Yeah i wanted to sleep ALL THE TIME but could never get comfortable.

but i LOVED seeing my son roll around in my belly. each time was like the first time, my SO, who as they say all men do, didnt feel reality set in until delivery day, he would get so annoyed at my shrieks of joy as i experienced another alien barrel roll in utero.

i LOVED talking to him and reading to him and touching him and feeling him explore the very tiny space. in the words of the Genie in Aladdin "itty bitty living space". and yes, at the end of this glorious selfish pregnancy i did give my son the gift of freedom, and let him out of his shell.

I did miss being pregnant immediately. Heck, i missed being pregnant while in labor.

all 27 hours of it.

the water breaking (which, by the way person who started calling it waters...maybe call it syrup next time, so that an unsuspecting mother isnt surprised as heck at what is trickling from her nether regions.)

the contractions, yeah i remember pretty much indescribable pain, so painful i couldnt even force tears.

the ultimate lack of shame. yes immediately upon being allowed to get into the bathtub to ease pain of contractions i spread eagle so fast i didnt care that the older nurse was seeing my ungroomed nethers and swollen boobies. i didnt care who came in or out, i didnt care about their personal feelings. i let it all hang out. im sure it was lovely (text sarcasm).

i didnt care that when i was pushing i could feel them wiping my poop away. i dont mind it, i mean heck, in what other time in your life is it okay to poo yourself? as an infant and toddler, as a disabled adult in need of assistance, and when youre a pregnant woman delivery an 8 lb human. HUMAN. i pushed a human from my vagina. its still weird to me. want to know what it feels like men? lets put it this way. if i didnt know a baby was coming, i would have felt like this was death. i had to be dying. ill post the birth story for inquiring minds at a later point.

but yes, while i loved being pregnant, actually liked (only in retrospect) the act of delivery and labor, and absolutely love more than anything the joys of being a parent, i dont want 16 anymore.

i cant explain it, i feel like now a smaller family is up my alley. Maybe because i dont have the financial security of the duggars or their quiverfull friends, or the fact that i want to be able to have just a few children that can be my soul mates. but after having J. i am convinced that a couple more will complete my family, but i know thats up to some divine intervention and also biology. heres hoping there is more in my future :]

how many children do you have? did you plan to have so many? do you want more? if you the financial security would you have more?

did you poop on the table? be honest. we're all friends here.

sitting in front of the laptop

spending hours trying to find a replica of my sons "bunny", a white rabbit i picked up at a thrift store at his persistence. it has been and still is the only thing he has ever been completely attached to. despite his mothers crafty attempts at making somethign sentimental for him to grow attached to, that would have a better story.

turns out it was from toys r us, and its somethign that even on ebay i foudn for 35$. for heavens sake i got it at Value Village for like 2 bucks.

but, i know the importance of a spare.

gonna go be awesome and search until this battery dies.

it should make me feel lame and antisocial. instead...i feel awesome. AWESOME.

what does your child latch on to? do you find it healthy? at what point do you break them of it?

im still new to this whole parenting thing...kinda picking it up as i go along.

random things that you learn when you become a parent.

you CAN beat the hiccups. You simply need to lie down next to a 2 year old trying to sleep, and you find you can hold your breath a lot longer. this is similar to holding in any sort of bodily gasses next to a 14 year old boy so as to not start a trend and mastering the art of doing the dirty silently so as not to wake your brother who lives with you and your significant other :]

just saying.

what anecdotes do you have that youve learned along these lines?

tell me some funny lessons. i enjoy a good laugh.

Good Mothers and Bad others.

Happy mothers day Moms!

since i became a mother, i love reading about mothers. i truly do. reading stories written by mothers, blogs from mothers, reality tv about mothers that really feels like reality and is less scripted than the kardashians :]

on that note, i wanted to bring to light a lot of mothers in the media that i have seen recently that deserve some attention, and also get your take on other mothers i may have overlooked, or havent seen enough of.

Julia Roberts - worked on a project called Extraordinary Moms, and profiled woman like Hilary Clinton and lesser known but appropriately praised mothers. she has always spoken so highly of her children and the experiences she has with them, and has kept them low profile enough to have something that resembles normalcy.

Michelle Duggar, and her daughter in law Anna.

i mention them frequently because i do watch their show. since before their show started and they had specials about their large family i have always been curious and intrigued.

its hard to be a parent sometimes. sometimes, you lose your cool and need 5 minutes in the bath to get your cool back.

sometimes you extend time out longer than you should, or you say words to your husband or wife that may sting a little, and you know what thats okay. we're human. but i love watching the duggars because even with 19 kids, or in annas case, one and a fetus, they always manage to keep their cool. and i truly believe its not just on camera. that woman has to find 38 shoes every day for 19 children. she schedules doctors appointments, homeschools, gets them to the dentist (impossible feat for one child i have found). She works with her children, and they learn responsibility by doing AND by seeing. i dont agree with all of her and her family's practices, dont get me wrong. and i disagree with the negative hype around her, they reuse, homemake, they are frugal yet have the money to take care of all of their children, and they give back to their community and to the world. love it. thats amazing to raise good charitable humans.

Ku-Dos Duggar.

Michelle Obama.

shes just so cool. calm and collected as well. and you always see her with her daughters. im sure living in the white house their may be a nanny or two or three and some hired help...but i see her very hands on, you can tell despite her political and law history she also puts a lot into her family.

Angelina Jolie-

i dont like her movies. i will say that.

but she loves her family. she considers each one brought to her intentionally, which i believe of my own. she has visited many a country and given many a million dollars back into helping out countries. she is an excellent humanitarian who does her work in silence, and she gives a great example for her children. she also exemplifies that sometimes a family can appear broken and be complete, such as choosing to have and adopt children out of wedlock. my man and i have a similar perspective and will one day wed, even if multiple children come out of our relationship first. She speaks of her children as though they are her role models, and shouldnt we all take a page from that book? kids are freakin awesome. I read about her and watch them, and i see a family where each adopted child know that despite their history they are as loved and as much their children as the biologicals. beautiful thing.

these are just a few examples:

we may not be able to know them, but what they show us is beautiful.

bad mothers:

Dora's mom, and her sister whoever that may be. (i haven't seen that episode of godiegogo yet.)

what the heck man. your kid is like 7. she should not be crossing troll ridden bridges and rivers and going through shady forest and playing with robots to save animals.

get down with her mission, and dont just support it, engulf yourself with it.

she shouldnt be climbing mountains and playing with llamas without supervision.

kudos though on teaching her colors and raising her bilingual. thats p. awesome in my opinion.

but seriously. i dont see you working sooooo watch your daughter. and your nephew. hes out playing with jaguar cubs and diving in submarines with your niece.

what about you? who do you consider to be a wonder mother in the public eye?

Here is (some of) my story.

4 years ago my life was MUCH different.

I watched crappy reality television, ate crappy foods, stayed up wayyyyy too late, worked at a crap job, and just lived.

now i do all those things...but my life has more meaning :]

i had no idea i could love someone so much. no idea i could love someone more than i loved his father. it was incredible.

i was in love from even before i was pregnant, even before we started trying, and failing and then trying again, i knew he would be the love of my life. i didnt realize he would be my soul mate.

i gained 65 freakin lbs when i was pregnant, despite trying not to. (since have lost it all please refer to www.imfluffynotfat.blogspot.com if you care to know that story.)

i went from a vegetarian prepregnancy to a carnivore mid pregnancy (yes i feel guilty about this fact but HELLO? have you TASTED steak and bacon? no brainer.)

i gained back pain that makes me feel like im 30 years my senior.

and holy crap i became a family.

i learned many a thing:

infants can projectile pop up to their necks.

they can also vomit out of their nose and it is terrifying.

they can stretch in ways that every adult man wants every adult woman to stretch.

they will be awake when you are tired' and once you get your second wind, they will sleep. you arent likely to "sleep when they sleep".

Babies arent as expensive as people make them out to be...if you dont factor in diapers. i find it a crime that you can pay 25 bones for either 120 newborn diapers...or 80 size 5s, additionally newborns use twice as many. I call TOTAL bs!

you may not ever correctly know your childs shoe size until they slow their roll and you might very well buy a pair of shoes that are too small.

you will forget something EVERY TIME you leave a friends house or event, be it a bottle, a pacifier, or something else equally important. furthermore, to add insult to your injury, you will get that sneaking suspicion ahead of time that you HAVE forgotten, only to ignore it and then realize how critical that instinct was.

you will begin to hate all of your friends who offer unsolicited advice, but you will really only surround yourself with friends that are parents, at least for awhile...and then you may, try as you might, let something unsolicited slip out. fuck. you have become one of THOSE parents.

there are a lot of things that have changed in my life since my son was born.

this blog is simply a catalog of the events and thoughts that have transpired. also blogs from other mother friends written for your entertainment.

"baby book" you can find it at www.dear-julian.blogspot.com

and remember ladies (and gents), we're the luckiest people alive to be parents, but we have always been alive. :]

ma.